Putting your oxygen mask on first

Susan's story

Uig Sands Rooms offer two-night stays in their self-catering property, which goes directly to carers residing in Eilean Siar (Western Isles). This is Susan’s story, who receives excellent support from local delivery partners Western Isles Community Care Forum:
 
“I have been an unpaid carer for over 20 years. The majority of this time, I was unaware that such a term existed. To me it was just my circumstances, and I had to get on with it. 
 
In those 20+ years, I lived in 3 different local authorities. We chose to return to home several years ago to support my elderly parents. 
 
The Western Isles was our 4th local authority, and I was surprised to have been contacted by Western Isles Community Care Forum, having been put forward by my GP practice. Prior to this, I was never aware such support existed. Since being put in touch, I have had regular updates and been contact by the team to check in, to inform you of what support is available. The Training and Assessment Officer visited our home to make us aware of all practical and emotional support offered by WICCF. 
 
As a carer, I have found myself supporting mental health issues as well as giving physical care. 
 
Until understanding the services of WICCF, I had never thought about how my situation impacted on my own mental or physical health. I have found myself dealing and shouldering someone else's anger, their frustration, their grief, their trauma. I realised that I was neglecting myself and things came to a head recently. I felt like I had failed the people I loved the most. 
 
Through time & professional support, I have realised how important it is to look after yourself in the first instance which in turn benefits the people you are caring for. I am aware that asking for or accepting support does not come naturally. It can be seen as not coping, particularly for people from the Western Isles which is why, when I was first told about Respitality I didn't think it was relevant to me. Other people were much more in need than me. I was on top of my situation. 
 
When things came to a head, I needed a break, to take myself out of the situation and to appreciate again how privileged I am to be able to care for those I love the most. Contacting WICCF to enquire about a short break was the best thing I did. The process was so simple without delving into the details. 
 
With my responsibilities, I am unable to work full time so funds for taking time out for yourself can be difficult. I am lucky that I have external family support who can check in on those I care for so was able to feel relaxed and to switch off knowing that everything at home was fine. It allowed me to recharge. I am aware not everyone has this opportunity. 
 
The continued support services of WICCF are so important. Being a carer can feel like a lonely place. Here in the Western Isles, we live in a rural remote community which can feel isolating in the physical and emotional sense. Being informed is so important and to have the knowledge of what is available to you. Also important to get rid of the stigma attached to accepting help and to care for self-first. 
 
WICCF have varying levels of support. You can meet up with other people in similar circumstances or you can choose to be in contact discreetly. 
 
I hope those who offer services for Respitality know how much these giftings are appreciated and the value of them to carers. To be able to take time away and recharge to allow you to be the best you can be to those you care for.”

*Names in this testimonial have been changed to protect privacy